Tear In My Heart

You know how paper cuts can be the absolute worst offenders on our skin? Strange really. And probably the exact opposite of what we would be prone to think.

Ironically, as I was already pondering this thought & the possible analogies, I guess I unconsciously decided to prove it to myself lol. My son broke one of my coffee mugs the other day and when I went to pick up the pieces, one of the sharp edges cut the palm of my hand. A seemingly teeny cut has produced a constant annoyance of blood and a surprisingly consistent irritating pain. Of course it could be the precarious location of the cut and it’s interference with daily tasks.

The interesting thing is that life is so much like this. It is often the seemingly insignificant tiny matters that are the culprits of the biggest irritants and distractions on a consistent basis; the little weeds that choke the life right out of us if we allow it.

I feel like I could go a so many different directions with this analogy. BUT… I started out with the thought of speaking about the relation to a tear in our heart. Even with the heart tear analogy I feel like it could have different meanings: A tear caused by a small offense or a linage of small offenses over time. Or, even worse, a heart tear from the infectious spread of heartache that happens due to unmet expectations. However, I believe the worst offender yet to be the seemingly smallest tear in your heart that happens as a result of an unconscious letdown of your guard because hope and desire finally overcame fear and reservation.

You know what I’m talking about. You unconsciously hung your heart out on your sleeve for just a short time and BAM it got clobbered! Then it moves straight into gut wrenching pain and heart ache.

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So, what’s the moral here…..Keep your heart on lock down? I would love to explore possible answers and explanations to the old adage: “is it better to have loved and lost or to have never loved at all?” But….I believe that is a stand alone topic for a separate writing. So…lets go this route:

Since we were young we’ve heard that common little phrase…. don’t get your hopes up. How sad. Hope is everything! You should always get your hopes up!! And keep them up! Even if it is sometimes accompanied by gut wrenching pain. At least then you know that you’re alive and passionate!

Here’s a great line from the song that inspired and provoked this writing:

“Sometimes you gotta bleed to know that you’re alive and have a soul” 21 Pilots

I love that line. Action is the only thing that cures fear. Unfortunetly, all too often we tend to shoot only for mediocrity, mostly due to our fears and focus on past failures. We let our past and present circumstances define us, and we listen to our own limiting beliefs that shout that what we have become is all we will ever be.

That is never true and is always subject to change. It is always a choice though and the Bible says that “hope deferred makes the heart sick”

So, I’ve been walking around over the last few days with this little bitty cut, most of the time forgetting it’s even there. Then I go to do something, just an average everyday task, and I am reminded of the little cut over and over again; yet no one even notices this teeny thing unless I show it to them.

I feel like this is exactly the way that our heart is. We often walk around with what we dismiss as just a tear in our heart but it is in turn affected by every day matters. Vice versa, it affects our every day actions and decisions and the choice to love with all of our heart or to put that self imposed armor back on, or worse case: build or rebuild an impenetrable wall.

We only live this life one time. No do overs. Choose to live passionately. Choose to have courage. Choose to make a positive difference. Choose to love. You will be stronger for it.

This will be a “loose” closing. Truthfully, because I don’t know exactly how the story ends;) A lot of my writing is inspired by music. So, I will close this with a few more song quotes that I love that seem fitting for this topic:

“I’ve been restless on the inside, wondering about this heart of mine. I’ve been desperately trying to find a way to prove that I’m still alive.” ~Big Daddy Weave

“When everything feels like the movies. Yeah, you bleed just to know you’re alive.” Goo Goo Dolls

“…and maybe someday we will live our lives out loud, try to find a way to make things better now” ~Rob Thomas

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